One of the fundamental principles in bringing up children and especially in the forming of their characters, is in using the wonder working power of PRAISE. All children need praise and all have some good points that can be praised and appreciated. Look out for them! Be outspoken about them! It is more important to praise a child for his good points than to scold them for their bad behavior. Try to always accentuate the positive.

Make your praise public. Kenneth Blanchard, co-author of a book on leadership writes, "Catch people doing something right, then tell everyone about it!" Giving public credit to someone who has earned it is the best leadership technique in the world. Just as public exposure works well as a crime deterrent, so public praise is a most effective way to get improved performance from people. This advice is not only for adults but also applies to bringing up children.

"Saying yes! Yes is always stronger than saying no," says New York Child psychiatrist Dr. Sirgay Sanger. "Praise is the very best way to discipline. It sets limits your youngster both needs and wants."

"If you glow at what you like, the absence of glow says what you don't like," says Dr. Sanger. "Wait until your daughter doesn't spill her food, then praise her for her neatness."

Never say, "I love you for cleaning your room," says Dr. Lubetkin. Don't say, "You're a bad boy,"' but instead, "Stop - I don't like what you're doing." Never tell a child she is a source of disap­pointment: "Look what you've done to me."

Help your child to take steps toward achievement by coupling praise with permission to fail. Let your child know you are there for them, not to pick them up but to cheer them on when they pick themselves up and try again.

If a child feels frustrated when an activity doesn't pay off right away, use praise to help him work it through. For example: "The other night, Peter had put off doing his homework until the last minute, and was using all sorts of tactics to avoid finishing; it." says his mother. "I told him, Peter, you've done such a good job with your homework up until now, you really deserve a pat on the back. Just a little extra push and you're going to be finished. I'll be so proud of you,' Well, he got to work, did it and was really pleased with himself. Eventually he'll learn to give himself the extra nudge to get himself through to completion.



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