With this post, we share some thoughts on the subject of forgiveness from several motivational speakers who offer some ideas on how to relieve the stress and tension choking society and often our own relations. Perhaps if enough people put this principle into practice, it can have a lasting positive effect in our and our loved ones lives.
The late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said: “Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Many people rightfuly argue that their offender does not “deserve” to be forgiven. That is entirely beside the point. You deserve to forgive that individual.
How many people do you know who are bitter and consumed with hatred because years ago someone - either a parent, brother, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, neighbor, teacher, lawyer, etc.- did something to them that was hurtful?
Realistically, that person who hurt you has damaged your past and remains in control of you at the present time. Surely you’re not going to give him or her permission to control and negatively influence your future, are you?”
Forgiveness Sets You Free!
It is impossible to go as high as you’re capable of going if you’re carrying the burden of hate, revenge, and bitterness. Those are heavy loads to carry, and the chances of you realizing your full potential are nonexistent with those three burdens on your back.
And even if you were successful in your profession, how happy would you be as an individual? How many friends have you seen an angry or bitter person acquire? How many of them have good relationships with their families and are optimistic, upbeat and enthusiastic about the future
Forgiveness is the key, and if you’re incapable of forgiving on your own - and many are - often people seek counseling to guide them through the maze, to finally reach the point where they can forgive. The day you do is the day you become a happier, healthier, more secure person!
Specific Benefits of Forgiving
Forgiving is for giving yourself the freedom to be happy again.
As long as you bear a grudge against someone you will be unhappy - feeling frustrated, bitter, or angry. You will be suffering, while the person you resent might not even be aware that you resent him or her. . . or even care! When you forgive, you stop giving that person power over how you feel. You break that negative emotional tie, and free yourself to be happy again.
Forgiving is for giving yourself the ability to be attuned to others.
When you harbor resentments, you are in ego - that judgmental state of mind that causes you to feel separate from others. When you forgive, you return to a state of mind that is once again open and receptive to insights, inspiration, and intuitive direction.
Forgiving is for giving yourself valuable insights about yourself.
Sometimes the person whom you need to forgive is actually “mirroring” a behavioral trait that you may have, but don’t want to consciously admit. If you are willing to “look in that mirror,” you may see something within yourself that needs healing. You may discover a long-neglected emotional wound that has been causing you to behave in unproductive ways. But now that it’s revealed, you have the opportunity to heal that wound through a little self-love. . . as well as the opportunity to see that person who is your “mirror image” in a more compassionate light.
Forgiving is for giving yourself the ability to enjoy the peace that exists in the here and now moment.
Whatever it is that is causing you to feel resentful happened in the past, right? Perhaps it was only yesterday, but it still happened in the past. By harboring those negative feelings, you are keeping the past alive. Generally, the “now” moment is pretty peaceful. But you rob yourself of that peace by dwelling on something that is not actually happening in the here and now. If you want to be able to enjoy the peace of the present, let go of the past through forgiveness.
Forgiving is for giving yourself the power to create a different future.
The future is formed in the present, through the thoughts and feelings that you are having right this minute. If you have dragged the past into the present through unforgiveness, then it is highly likely that you will create a future that is just like the past. If you want a different future, forgive what happened in the past—let go of it - and open yourself up to the infinite possibilities that exist when your mind is free of all prior influences.
“When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.” - Dale Carnegie